I need a new name. The one up there is WEAK! I couldn't think of anything else and I really have a rack of work to be doin right now so it'll be put on pause. If anyone thinks of somethin ... please don't hesitate to let me kno.

Well it sure has been a long time. And I mean a long time. Essentially, I started to run out of material. I think I did pretty good considering I was going for about a year or focusing on realtionships and exploring my theories, delighting with stories of grimey friends, and trying to take an apathetic look at relationships. But, I find myself not driven about the topic as much as I used to be. The bitterness is gone.

But I liked blogging, so I will keep it up. Expect general posts from now on, with a heavy emphasis on proving people wrong and relationships (gotta stay tru to the roots).

Also, a new look when I get sometime.

Hopefully I haven't lost all my readers!

Its funny because one of the main reasons I haven't posted is because I have too many topics to write about. Its like there is so much goin on, its hard to stay focus. So I figure I'd start off with a couple of things and use this post as a guide for future posts. Lemme kno what u think about the topics.

• Faking: We (Men) do it too
• A look at the Male version of faking. I always talk about this symmetry between men and women with sex being similar to emotions. So, this topic is about the fact that some guys do fake emotionally, just as many girls fake sexually. But ... I still think women are worst at it!
• Oh ... he's just my friend: Ignorance of the obvious
• I know I have talked about this before but it keeps coming up. Guys give obvious signs to their general intentions. I mean ... if a guy approaches you and asks for your number ... HE IS NOT LOOKING FOR A FRIEND!
• Simp or a Good Man
• At what point should you take your friend to the side and let his ass know he is simping it up. Are you just hating because he is in love and a good boyfriend, or is he becoming an honest embarrassment to all us Males.
• Hiding Your Girl
• It it OK? What does it mean? Or maybe she just has that personality that is meant to be hid.
• BlockHeads
• "I got this chick named BlockHead. She gotta Block Head. After every block party she give the whole Block Head". I just thought the song was hilarious. Heard the joint when I went to the ATL.
• Listen

So that is a tentative list of topics.

Yeah, I'm back after my like 4 month hiatus. Basically could never come up with good stuff, or lack of time, etc. Also, I am a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated, and it takes time to do the work of Alpha.

More importantly, expect more posts from me and the usual knowledge that your used to me dropping.

Update

So I haven't posted in a long long time. Well a lot has been going on.

First and foremost, I am now a member of the Illustrous Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated. This definitely took a lot of time and is one of the reasons I have not been posting often.

Another thing was school. Its hard, its a lot of time, and I am trying to do good in it. Expect more from me as time opens up. I will be doing an internship this summer so expect posts while I sit at my desk.

Artist: Mike Jones f/ Lil' Bran
Album: Who is Mike Jones?
Song: Scandalous Hoes
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

[Mike Jones]
Hoes these days mayne, I'm tellin y'all
They scandalous baby, scandalous baby
That's why

[Lil' Bran]
I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes

[Chorus: Mike Jones] + (Lil' Bran)
Females I don't trust 'em, Lord knows I don't love 'em
I fuck 'em, I don't cuff 'em, I swear they nothin but trouble
And for that reason there, I keep my shit in my pants
Because (I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes)

[Mike Jones]
Geah! I watch my back when I'm walkin, I watch my mouth when I'm talkin
My glock cocked when I'm crawlin cause you never know
Who hate the fact you got plenty of paper stacked so they envy
the way you move in that Bentley now you got more than one enemy
Tryin to take you out nope, that's why you ride wit'cha scope
Or aim the infrared beamer straight to they throat
So if you ever in fear of your life, you put steel HERE in they life
Cause you ain't goin down, especially not tonight
I never ever trusted hoes because they got a plan
They don't want me for me they want me because I got some Grants
It's sad when you down nobody lends a helpin hand
But when you blow up and don't help them you {?} man
My grandma told me watch these hoes because they got a plan
to get your paper that's why I keep my shit in my pants
You're on your own 'til your gone that's what I was told
So I'ma help who helped me 'til my casket closed

SYEAH! Mike Jones, WHO?! Mike Jones
That's why

[Lil' Bran]
I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes

[Chorus]

[Mike Jones]
What's my business is my business, don't worry 'bout how I'm livin
I'm gettin it how I'm gettin it, you should do the same
These haters hate, they mad cause I'm gettin cake
That's why (I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes)

[Lil' Bran]
Stand you scandalous hoes

[Mike Jones]
I cain't stand 'em mayne
We fin' to do a little bit different right here
Check it out - SYEAH!

[Mike Jones]
Now that you stackin up dollars, these hoes now wanna holla
They wanna be on your team, they wanna know all about'cha
They wanna ride on your ride, they wanna be by your side
until the day that you die, that's what they tellin you right?
They sayin they wanna commit, because your paper legit
The minute you go bankrupt the second they gon' split
Now yo' ass ain't got shit
Listenin to that bitch got you flat broke quick
If you was straight from the streets you'll know that that bitch
was from the jump a hoe, playin you for your dough
But I guess you thought I was hatin when I was keepin it real
I'll bet you gon' listen now cause she got you for your scrill
So let this lesson be told to those who got caught
You tried to pay for some pussy that already been bought
You told the hoe where you lived, cause you thought that the bitch was real
Same time she was one of them niggaz inside your crib
I cain't let it happen to me, so I watch 'em from 50 feet
I'd rather have money comin than be with these scandalous freaks
I cain't let it happen to me, so I watch 'em from 50 feet
I'd rather have money comin than be with these scandalous freaks

[Outro: Mike Jones] + (Lil' Bran)
SYEAH! Mike Jones
Females I don't trust 'em
Lord knows I don't love 'em
That's why (I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes)
The same ones that'll suck you up, 'll fuck you up I swear
Y'all beter get y'all game on mayne
Hoes are scandalous mayne (I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes)
SYEAH! Mike Jones (scandalous hoes)
(These scandalous hoes, these scandalous hoes)
That's why (I, cain't, stand you scandalous hoes)

Faking has been a well recognized problem at my school, The University of Maryland. Since I have been here, girls have faked, faked hard, and faked harder. While I am sure guys have faked too, it hasn't concerned me, so I am not really gonna talk about it this time. But if someone wants to enlighten me, let me know.

I guess first I should define faking. Basically it is when a girl leads a guy to think one thing, but when it comes down to it, they were really never thinking that. A common example is when a guy thinks a girl if feeling him and ready to be "intimate". Then at the last minute, the truth is known, the girl is shocked or just doesn't care, and anger ensues.

Now this doesn't sound bad to many people, and I not advocating girls should sleep with whoever or should not be able to say no. The problem is too many yeses, and then a no. Panties should not be off, or bras unhooked before the no.

This has not been a big problem for me, but many people I know have been affected by it. Often I see people led on, told that the person really likes them and are gonna do "things" to them, but ... it never happens.

This is a problem because of the confusion. No one likes to be lead on. This confusion is never needed or welcomed. I have no problem with a girl saying no, she has every right too. It just should not be said at 3am in somebody's bed.

Chris Rock said a girl knows within 10 minutes of meeting you if she will sleep with you. I agree, and she needs to let someone else know that too. I feel like I am almost rambling at this time, but it really comes up a lot.

Be consistent and be repetitive. Don't lock yourself in a room and grind on someone while making out and then be surprised because he had "expectations". Another hint, guys don't like to "just cuddle".

So to sum everything up:
YES, YES, YES, NO = Very Bad
NO, NO, NO, HELL NO = Good (not really good, but understandable)

I'm gonna need people to stop faking about their feelings and be real! (I guess that last line does apply to guys too)

Just like someone mentioned on the Chatterbox (The box to your right that you can leave messages on), I think I have hit a writer's block.

Its not that I haven't had any new theories, or that new things haven't been bothering me, its just that I feel there is nothing I am trying to share right now. Its a shame, but I think I am starting to care what people think bout the stuff I write.

I remember the good days when I started (I forgot to mention I hit my first year anniversary a few weeks ago!) this blog. I would say anything and really was trying to put a lot of things out there. I had theories that I had been perfecting for years, and I really didn't care how anyone felt bout it. If I was mad, I let it known. If I was a feeling a certain way, I wrote bout it. Now ... I got nothing!

I just don't know what to put. The few topics I could talk about feel like I shouldn't be speaking on it.

Basically, I know who to blame for all this, DASB. Basically, she told me I was sounding really angry. I read my old posts, and dammit if she wasn't right. Somethin had me angry and I was sayin some crucially mean things. Now that I have resolved to be not be mad and respect women like I used to, I have less to talk about.

Don't worry though, its temporary. While I aint never going back to my angry self, I will figure out some good topics. Also, feel free to leave a comment or something suggesting something. Always tryin to here from people.

Since it is that time of year, guess I need to resolve to do some things for the new year. I have decided to make this a joyous occasion and I feel my new resolution will also benefit those that know me. Its a two step process, but will leave me a better man in the end.

Step 1: Remove The Anger

While I have definitely had my moments, recently I really have not been too angry. This one is simple, just tryin to remove any widespread anger that I got towards females. Any anger is there because of stories of trifling girls, but can't let em get to me anymore.

Step 2: Restore "Old Damien"

Back in High School, and for most of my college career, I had lofty goals of just bein real nice and being a hopeless romantic. I feel like some of this youthful luster has been beaten out of me, so its time to work on that again. Nothing overly bad has happened to me relationship wise, so there is no reason to abandon the dream yet. While I never disrespect girls, I don't put em on the pedestal anymore. Time to change that this year.

Are these goals out of reach, doubt it. I'll let any setback known. I will admit, that damn Destiny's Child song be making it hard to put women on the pedestal when some of em looking for the soldier!

Why is that damn Destiny's Child song still on the radio!!!!

I just don't understand why it seems like there are plenty of people who understand that there is something seriously wrong with the song "Soldier", but it remains high on the charts. Damn their fine asses and the good beat.

I actually haven't really listened to the song for about 3 or 4 weeks in protest, but it played on the radio today and I actually listened. The song is worst then I remembered. I was hoping I had over-reacted and the song really wasn't that bad, but I was wrong. It was worst than I remembered.

I really hate that this song is so damn popular. I don't even got much to say except that I am so mad!!!

Expanding on a comment left by someone on my post about the song Soldier (*cough* Cheez *cough*), I am hear to say, and let it be known that guys with degrees can, and often will, fight.

Basically my friend commented that the Soldier song may just be Destiny's Child expressing their desire for a man who can take care of them and protect them. You know, a guy who can fight when needed, who is not going to let anyone disrespect their women, etc. For some reason, having a good job, or a degree means you can't do any of these things to many girls ...... hmmmm, that seems unfair.

Firstly, why is it girls feel like educated guys simply won't fight or can't fight. Being someone in college who knows plenty of other college guys, I will say that many guys in college can fight, and have misdemeanors to prove it. The amount of fights breaking out at parties alone shows this. Don't know what more I can say about that.

Secondly, and most importantly, why does this seem to be a major requirement? I have almost never heard of a girl being so grateful that her boyfriend beat somebody in a club. It just doesn't seem to happen. Also, you would think being able to hold a job would protect a girl more, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe someone who will actually take care of their girl and do things, like stay around when the kid is born, is just not that important.

So in the end all I gotta say it:
Guys with degrees can fight!!! And besides, it aint that important!

Those of you who know me probably know I am a Computer Science Major, with an Economics Minor. And the ones that know me well know I am overly logical, highly analytical, and obsessed with efficiency as a result. I have been thinking about how all these things helped lead to this site and one of the biggest problems in the relationship system I have noticed: inefficiency.

I can't really pinpoint the problem, but my friend, Kunle, was talking to me about it and gave some very insightful information about it. This is a real big topic, so I can't cover it all right now, but I am gonna start on it.

This problem seems to be worst for blacks than for many other races. While its not perfect for anyone, it seems like, especially at this age, many people are single. A lot of these people want to be in a relationship, a lot. There seems to be a lot of available guys and girls (I do acknowledge the number for guys is probably smaller than the amount of girls) who actually want someone special, but it seems like the majority of these people have so much trouble finding someone acceptable.

The worst thing about this problem is I am not completely sure why it happens or how it could be fixed. I have a couple of ideas, but stuff that will never actually happen (e.g. everybody tells their true feelings, no cheating, etc). Several times I have wondered how do people get together now, and it seems to get worst the older you get. Once your outta college, I feel the search becomes so much harder.

One of the biggest things I see as a problem is the lack of places to meet someone. Outside of the club (which is a horrible place to meet someone), what is there? Anywayz, I am gonna leave this one for next time, but I wanna know what people think.

Yes, I am mad again. This time 3 women have made me upset. No, I wasn't carried, and no one broke my heart. The people that have me mad are Destiny's Child.

Has anyone heard the song "Soldier"? It finally put the "thug theory" into a song. The basis of the whole song is how they want a thug, and aren't interested in anyone else. I put a link to the lyrics at the bottom of the post. One of the worst things I heard was their description included a "A rude boy that's good to me". What does that mean? A thug that doesn't beat me?!?!

Basically I have been complaining about this for a long time and someone has now made a song confirming my worst fears. Nice guys who go to college, get good jobs, read, and basically contribute to society are not the interest of black girls. If you think about it, this is sad. Now that I think back, I think this is what made me mad in the first place. Nice guys always finish last. I am mad that guys who try hard, get degree's, and real jobs are less attractive than guys with food stamps and rims.

It sounds like older women grow out of this stage, but why does it take like 28 years for someone to grow out of this. I have always took intelligence as a big turn on. The more devoted you are to school, the better you look to me. Not saying that I discriminate or anything like that, but I am more attracted to girls doing big things. The ones who ain't tryin and are waiting to find their husband to take care of them (I have met these girls and am not making it up) are the ones that really get to me.

Soldier - Destiny's Child (f/ T.I., Lil Wayne)

Lets say you meet a girl/guy in one of your classes or work. You start talking to the person on a regular basis over AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). I don't know about those who have graduated and are grown, but its wildly popular amongst us college kids. But suppose you wanna take things to the next level. Yeah, I mean the phone!

To me the phone call has some significance. It can often make it official you don't just want to be friends. Also, the phone is often where the war is won or lost. Good phone conversations can really make the difference, and are what leads to a date.

So then you have to decide, have you built up a phone relationship with the person? If you do have one, then you have to figure out on what level. Just because you have a phone relationship, it might not be a "how was your day" relationship. It could be a "I just got shot and I need a ride to the hospital" relationship. And if you don't have one at all, then you gotta figure out how to start it. Random calls when the person didn't even give you the number (lets say u got it from a friend) ain't gonna work. Here are some signs you have at least a basic calling relationship.

-- You have called the person before
-- The person has called you
-- The person gave you the number within 5 days. 5 days!!! (No getting the number and callin 2 months later)
-- She/He says to call you
-- She/He types things like "I miss hearing your voice"
-- If they want to do something more than talk (go out, smash)
-- If you have gone out with the person within 2 weeks.
-- You say your gonna call the person and they don't give you an excuse not to call

This listing isn't complete, but should help some people. Feel free to add stuff. I might make a list about how to know when you don't have a calling relationship.